Week 87: Pretending to be an adult...

Week 87: August 25th-31st, 2024

Most people my age will never be able to buy a home. Especially not in California, or any large metropolitan area with tolerable politics, for that matter. We are all coming to terms with this, as depressing and heartbreaking as it may be, due to the status of today's economy and the way the world has changed so far. My generation used to be told that going to school, graduating college, and getting a good job would be enough, but that is no longer true. The "hard work pays off" mentality only works if the economy and environment you're living in allows it to. Right now, in 2024, our environment doesn't really give a f*** about hard work. Our economic environment chews us up, spits us out, and takes our hard earned money while we're still getting our bearings as young adults. There will always be the outliers, sure, like the people who don't work at all and have everything handed to them, or the unconventional success stories of the one person who hit it rich doing this or that. The outliers are the ones who can buy a home and they are who I want to become.

With this all being said, I should keep my expectations low, which admittedly, I have never been very good at. I have always had high standards, in all aspects of life, and buying a home isn't going to be an exception. I love going to open houses and creating unfounded opinions on the home's value. I literally dream about renovations. I live and breathe HGTV. I've spent hours creating luxury designs on many different platforms (yes, Sims 4 counts), imagining myself in a space I've built and curated just to my tastes. The recommended videos on my YouTube include things like Architectural Digest and "BUILD A TINY HOME WITH ME! 1-Hour Time Lapse." In an ideal world, I could buy some land and build a house from scratch, so it is 100% mine. It is as simple as wanting to paint a room or stick a nail in a wall without worrying about getting my security deposit back. I am sick of paying my landlord's mortgages. I want a permanent space to call my own, and renting isn't cutting it. So this week, I went out of my comfort zone a bit and talked to a mortgage loan officer.

I don't know who I think I am, talking to someone as if I could buy a home, but it was a good conversation. It was very casual and educational. I was transparent about simply wanting to learn more about the home buying process, and the mortgage loan officer, Brianna Pernetti, was understanding of that. She was transparent with me, and was willing to provide some basic learning materials after our call. We talked about the current real estate market in San Diego, how brokers navigate different lender options for their clients, and looked my current situation at a high level. I learned more about underwriters, who sound like incredibly detail-oriented detectives that could be someone's worst enemy or best friend. I asked Brianna about how someone like me might navigate this harsh reality and get taken seriously. How would I stack up against experienced buyers who are better at being an "adult" than I am? How do I get my foot in the door, literally? She said what Google has also told me: for any home buyer, it is important to have good credit, be well prepared, and have no skeletons in your closet. I have all of those things, but I still feel like I'm pretending to be an adult sometimes.

The homebuying process is expensive and overly complicated - an unavoidable headache - and the cost of property in any acceptable city is going put a massive dent in anyone's bank account. Especially mine. Of course, there are conventional loans, or first-time homebuyer programs, and even some lottery-based grants, but those are really hard to get, especially in California. Imagine if the real estate market had an annual Black Friday sale. That would be good for someone like me.

My conversation with her was pretty short, but Brianna and I broke down the numbers at bit. At the moment, the estimated price of a home I might be able to afford right now is around $300,000. Ouch. In California, $300k will get you pretty much nothing. Maybe a broken shoebox under a bridge. And you'd still probably have to pay HOA fees.

I knew things were bleak, but I'm comforted by the fact that I was raised by smart parents who taught me about good credit and money management. I know I do come from a place of privilege, as the mere thought of buying a home is not normally a common one for my generation, so I am thankful to even consider it. It may be coming from a place of delusion, or false hope, but sometimes you have to dream big. While I will probably not make these dreams a reality for a very long time, it is a good idea to learn more. I will also pat myself on the back here for pretending to be an adult just long enough to speak to someone with a job title of "mortgage loan officer." Fancy, that.

I'm proud of myself for trying to make my dreams feel a little more tangible, but I'm reminding myself that, at the moment, these are just dreams. I must now return to the nightmare of the apartment search in a horrible rental market that has been taking up my mental space for months. Wish me luck, please, because I need it.

If anyone wants to buy me a house, I mean twist my arm, I won't say no.

See you next week.